Not for Rookies...

So everybody knows I have 4 kids.  They are all involved in activities.  Soccer season officially started this week and my schedule is HEAVY.  I wasn't sure how the behavior at the end of this week would be, but on Friday afternoon after school the girls and singing, dancing, and jamming to Selena Gomez. Darth could care less about Selena Gomez, but is in a good mood as well. We survived.  My house...that's another thing.  I wasn't taught all the domestic things growing up.  My mom is not so domestic, and I was pretty much forced to learn these things once Donnie and I moved in together.  I've gone from not being able to boil eggs to making big family dinners.  I've tackled cooking.  Cleaning is another thing.  Donnie does none of it.  When I mean none of it, I'm serious.  I don't ask him to help.  Sometimes I want to strangle him for not helping me once in a while, but I don't help the household financially bc I don't work..so OK.  My schedule this week went like this..

Monday- kids in school until 240.  Paige soccer from 530-6, Coby Tae Kwon Do from 615-715
Tuesday- Tae Kwon Do from 615-715
Wednesday- Zuri and Liana soccer from 530-615(me coaching), Paige and Zuri Girl Scouts from 615-730
Thursday- Gymnastics for Paige and Zuri from 4-5, Paige soccer from 530-7, and TKD for Coby from 615-715.
Friday- day off...Woo Hoo!
Saturday- Head to Missouri for Tae Kwon Do Tournament.

Really, this schedule is for no rookie mother.  I can't rely on Donnie because you never know what time he will be out of surgery.  His schedule is so unpredictable.  My life right now is who needs to be where, at what time, how are they getting there, and what time are we finally going to get to eat dinner?!  I wasn't sure I was going to be able to pull this off on my own, but for the most part I did.  Coby rode with a friend on Thursday to go to TKD.

Back to cleaning..I like to think sometimes that I've become the motherly domestic goddess.  Reality has set in.  I had a day off to actually look at the home, and I am no domestic goddess.  The house was a mess.  Growing up I had relatives with filthy homes.  I can't do it.  You never know when someone will want to come over for a playdate.  I thought that I could be this SAHM that always has the clean home, the kids are content and happy, dinner is always cooked.  Its not happening.  Although I don't think we had any take out this week, the home did not stay clean and organized.  It didn't help that the dishwasher broke and a douche bag rear ended me, fled the scene, and I had to chase him down because you can't just hit my Tahoe and take off`.  I had other things going on besides cleaning the home.  I'm not sure if it really matters that the house was not clean at the end of the week to anybody else, but it does to me.  I did get everybody where they needed to be, on time sort of, and at the end of the week everybody is happy, healthy, and content.  I thought that when we were busy and not home most of the evening that the house would keep itself clean...not so much really.  I need to work on my balance.  If it means I'm up way after the kids bedtime to get this stuff done, then I'm good with that.  Although my schedule is for no rookie mother, I need to be that domestic goddess!

Me and Coby

I was a latch key kid growing up.  I spent hours alone after school home alone with my brother.  We are lucky we made it through our childhood years.  I remember for quite some time gathering my stack of books up and calling my grandma on the phone and reading to her. I did this for a long time each day.  She never complained, bc she knew then that I was ok.

Now that I have my own kids, I would say that I am the over- protective mother.  I'm not one to let my kids walk home from school unattended, roam the neighborhood with their friends, etc.  I want to know at all times where my children are, who they are with, and what they will be doing.

Coby is 10 now.  I remind you that he is Autistic, not a typically developing child.  Close to it, but not quite there.  We recently started allowing him to stay home alone for very short increments of time.  We felt he was learning to be more responsible.  I needed to run to the sports store today to pick up some shorts.  He was not feeling well and on the couch watching TV when I left.  Before leaving, I gave my strict instructions. 
1. You are not to touch the stove(the boy loves to cook).
2. Do not touch the lighters.
3. Do not answer the door.
4. Go across the street if the house catches on fire.

I'm gone maybe 30 minutes.  I come home, pull in the garage, Paige goes in first and yells to me " Its smells like smoke in hereeee!"  I go in and yes, the house is FULL of smoke.  I look at the fireplace and see my logs are moved.  I knew EXACTLY what they looked like before I left.  I look at Coby and say " I gave you strict directions not to touch the lighters." He was attempting to start a fire in the fireplace so he says. The chute was not open and I know better.  He was playing.  We caught him out in the yard the last two days trying to start the grass on fire.  The boy knew.

Needless to say he has lost his stay at home alone priveleges.  I tell dad about this later in the day.  He comes home and makes Coby write on paper I WILL NOT PLAY WITH FIRE on every line on the front and back of the sheet.  Dad really isn't angry with him. We just wanted to get our point across.  Coby HATES to write.  Absolutely despises it.  He begged dad to please just ground me and take my WII away.  He starts writing, decides he will just write in really big letters so it uses a few lines at a time, and presses realllly hard with the pencils so the lead breaks.  I had to get get him the pencil sharpener.  I could not keep a straight face doing this.  Coby was begging for a different punishment.  I'm sorry, but it really was very funny.

I get to be the over-protective mom again.  I'm not ready for this and I guess apparently Coby isn't either.  I guess I try to be everything that I didn't have in hopes that my kids will grow up fond of their childhood and be level headed.  All I want out of them is to be good, responsible adults.  I don't care what they want to be when the grow up.  I just want them to be good adults and go through life the right way.  I really hope that I'm not asking for too much...

Whuck

A new friend of mine uses the term whuck quite often.  I must say that its genius for those language conscious mothers.  It's not rocket science to figure out its real meaning.  If you haven't figured it out already it means " What the fuck." I think. I'm pretty sure.  Anyways, three events happened today that this term fits well for.

Event number one- We have bearded dragons.  They really don't get as much attention as they deserve.  Honestly, we are busy people.  Two kids come home from school and discover that Paige's dragon, Fred Jones, has passed away.  I can't remember the last time I actually saw Paige playing with him, but thats irrevelant.  Coby(my animal advocate and lover) discovers the dead lizard and is in tears.  He tells his sister and it goes downhill from there.  First, I get blamed for lack of heat.  The bulb burnt out a few days ago.  Then Coby discovers his mouth is full of sand like he had been eating it.  I try to get the dead lizard out without touching it, not happening.  Coby sticks his hand in the tank and places him in a shoe box until we can bury him.  Its pouring.  I'm not going outside for a lizard funeral in the rain when the household is already sick.  Coby has been watching a new TV show on TLC.  Its called American Stuffers.  It's a show about taxidermy.  We get in the car to run some errand and Coby and Paige start talking about getting the bearded dragon stuffed...on his favorite log no less.  Ummmm...NO.  Daddy calls her to give his condolences about the dragon and offers to get her a kitten.  She's definitely on board with this idea.  Me..not quite there.  We go to the Pet Store to get Coby's dragon a  new heat bulb and behold they have two persian kittens there.  Absolutely adorable and also 600 bucks.  Again, ummmm..NO.  For now R.I.P Fred Jones.

Event number 2- Somebody put too much tp in the toilet and its overflowing. Badly.  Coby yells" its overflowing!!" I head down the hall...YES.  The bathroom is FULL of water.  I think no biggie this has happened before.  I head downstairs to get the carpet cleaner to suck up the water.  I suck up 8 gallons.  While empting a full container, I hear water flowing downstairs somewhere.  I yell at the kids to see who is playing in water, they answer and appear to all be upstairs.  The bathoom is upstairs above the kitchen.  I walk into the kitchen and the floor is full of water and its coming out of the lighting installed in the ceiling.  It's not a whuck at this point.  Its a shit, shit, shit!  I go back upstairs throw down some towels above that area, take my fabulous carpet cleaner downstairs to suck up water, and dump it twice.  Thats two gallons.  After I get gallons of water sucked up, then it becomes a " Whuck.  Who put too much tp in the toilet!"

Event number 3- This one is complicated.  Very complicated.  I get a fb post on my wall this morning from one of my younger sisters telling me to please call her tonight.  I text her less than 15 minutes later and nothing.  I call her later in the day and she tells me that my 18 yr old sister is getting married the next day.  WHUCK?!  She getting married? Is this a joke?  I don't know the guy.  Have never met him.  They have been together about 2 months if that so I am told.  He is a marine.  Koodos to him.  She goes to visit him in some state on his base.  They have been playing house for a week and decide they are going to get married.  I'm not sure where to start.  My immediate thought..she is much too young. My story was similar.  I met Donnie in September of 2000.  We started dating January 1st of 2001.  We go to Cancun, Mexico for spring break in April I think.  I come home pregnant.  We got married April 6, 2007.  I moved in with Donnie, on the other side of the state I grew up in, shortly after finding out I was pregnant and bc of constant bickering with my mother.  I was 21, 4 days short of being 22, when Coby was born.  I never wanted kids.  I wanted to be the career woman.  Now I have 4 kids.  I knew back then at the time that I was much too young to be having a baby.  Donnie is 5 yrs older and was ready.  Me...NOOOOO.  Our story it not always fairytale.  We have had major ups and downs.  We have been through some VERY difficult times to get where we are today.  Because of my experience, I NEVER want my girls to go the route I did.  I want high school, college, get married, then have babies.  By that time, they should be in their 30's.  Donnie and I are much more mature now then we obviously were then.  I look at my friends now that are just having children and I think that my age(32) is the perfect time to start a family.  Donnie and I had no time to be a couple before Coby came along. It was dating and BAMMMM family.  I have been attempting to raise my children the right way so they never follow my path.  Not that my path didn't turn out good, but thats not always the case. Just look at Teen Mom!  My mother calls tonight, not on her own to tell me the news, but bc the oldest of my younger sisters tells her too.  I get into it with her.  I know she doesn't like it and I don't care.  In my opinion, you are her mother.  Never in my right mind would I allow my girls to marry at that age to a guy I don't know.  I don't even want my girls to drive a car until they are 18 let alone get married.  She says that I need to be supportive bc she is my sibling.  This is bs to me.  If my sisters call me to tell me that they are pregnant and getting an abortion bc they aren't ready..am I going to support it bc I am there sibling...hell No.  I will support what I believe is right no matter who it is in regards to.  If I went along with all of their ideas and supported them bc I was obligated to, I would be one nieve woman who has no clue how to handle things when someone tells me they don't agree with me.  I don't care who I piss off.  If you can't handle my opinion then so be it.  Go f yourself.  I wish her luck.  To me, its not the right decision.  I would tell my girls the same thing had this been one of them. Part of this is me protecting her.  The years that Donnie and I had rough times were not good.  Would I wish her to go through the same thing..No.  When Paige was born I was separated from Donnie.  I lived in Illinois, he lived in Cali.  He wasn't even there when she was born.  This sister was ALWAYS there for me and watched me go through major down points in my life. I thought she would have taken mental notes, maybe not.  I never want her to go through that.  I am afraid this is what will happen to her.  I am amazed that mother doesn't feel the need to talk her out of this in attempt to always have her on her side.  Put on your big girl panties and tell her how you feel.  Had this sister called me tonight to tell me this news, I would have told her these things, but she didn't.